Monday, December 30, 2013

My Funny Girls

Little kids are so funny.  I usually put what they say on Facebook for everyone to laugh at, and then I thought I should put it on here for posterity, since I print out this blog for our family archives.  So here you go, a year's worth of funny things my girls have said.

Halfway through our spaghetti dinner tonight Joya stopped and stared at her bowl. "Mom! Did you put poop in this??"
Daddy: Joya, who do you think will win the Broncos/Chiefs game?
Joya: The Chiefs!
Daddy: Really? How many points will they get?
Joya: One.

 Today we stopped in to Walmart, and I just needed one thing, so I used the self-check out and paid with cash. Joya watched as the machine spit out my change and she got very excited. "Mom!" she said. "You bought money! Let's go buy some Cheetos!"
 Alaina was getting upset that she can't whistle.
"Don't worry," I told her. "You'll be able to when you get older."
"No! I'll be a grown-up that can't whistle!" she wailed.
That's some long-term thinking there.

Question I never thought I would hear because I have only daughters: "Mom, why can't humans just pee in the backyard too?"
Tonight I tried a new chocolate cookie recipe. My cookies have been unmitigated disasters lately, but I had high hopes for this one. Well, yet again they weren't turning out right.
"I'm just not a baker," I sighed.
"Mom! You are special just the way you are! You just have to keep trying and you can do it!" Alaina replied.
My little cheerleader. (Didn't help the cookies, though.)

Me: Where should we go today?
Joya: The store.
Me: What store?
Joya: The money store.
Me: What do we get at the money store?
Joya: Dollars.

It's time for another episode of "Seven Dreaded Words with Joya":  "Do you want to smell my hands?"   
Alaina: Mom! I made a new friend today!
Me: Really? What's her name?
Alaina: I don't know. I forgot to ask!

Joya is currently in room time (aided by the lovely baby gate) and is singing her little heart out. It goes something like this:
"I wanna come out...but Mommy say no-o-o-o-o-o..."

Today at lunch I pulled out a coffee mug for Joya to drink water out of. The one I pulled out was pink with red hearts and had the words "Chocolate is for lovers" on it. "Mom! Why you using Uncle Josh's cup?" she exclaimed.
(Alaina offering an almond to Lee)
Alaina: Do you want one?
Lee: Um, no, it looks wet.
Alaina: It's not wet. It's just sticky!

Alaina has been really interested in the names of colors, as found on crayon labels. She pointed to a brown crayon. "What's this one called, Mom? Poop?"    
The Alphabet Song (sung by Joya):
A B E B E F G...H I CINDY NA NA NA NA P...Q R S T U V W X Y AND I mo my A B time own ooo sing with me.

Me: What's the matter?
Joya: I need pants!
Me: Why do you need pants?
Joya: Because my neck hurts!

Joya: Mommy trapped me in my room!
Daddy: And how did that make you feel?
Joya: Mommy's the bad guy.

Me: Joya, do you want raisins?
Joya: No! I want raisins!

Me: Joya, get your finger out of your nose!
Joya: But Mom, I have a booger! (small smile) A cheese-booger!

As I was tucking Alaina in bed tonight, she had just ONE more question for me.
"What is the life cycle of a grape?" she whispered. Not sure that bed time,with her sleeping sister in the room,is the right time for that conversation. (Also, I don't know.)

Joya: Mommy, we go to Walmart?
Me: No, today we're going to Sprouts.
Joya: Sprouts?! I no like Sprouts!
Me: Why not?
Joya: Cause I like Gramma!

Sometimes when the girls finish all their lunch or dinner, I say, "Whoa! You must have been a hungry hippo!" Tonight, when I finished all MY dinner, Alaina said, "Whoa! You must have been a hungry hippo!" Somehow it didn't sound as cute when she was saying it about me...
Me: Next week is Daddy's birthday. What should we make him for a special birthday dinner?
Alaina: Mac and cheese!

Joya: Mom, I love you.
Lee: Why do you love her?
Joya: Because she gives me chocolate pudding.

Alaina dribbled some milk on the table during breakfast this morning.
"You can do the honors and wipe it up," she informed me.

Me: Joya, are you pooping? (She nods.) Do you want to put your poop in the potty?
Joya: Let me

At breakfast we read the story of the parting of the Red Sea. After learning that the entire Egyptian army was lost when God caused the sea to crash down on them, Alaina asked if the Israelites then picked up all the weapons from the dead guys. Not sure where she got such a shrewd sense of military strategy...
Alaina: When I grow up, I want to be the President!
Me: Oh really? What does the President do?
Alaina: Well, they sit at a desk. Avery can be my lawyer!

Tonight at dinner:
Me: Joya, are you done?
Joya: I not done. I whapping my face.
She was.

Alaina: Mom, I'm going to call you the No Girl, because that's all you say!
Alaina: "Will you just let me have a day where I do whatever I want?"             

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